I probably deserved it. I’d been fussing, to myself, that I needed to have a little mommy time with some grown up conversation. Preferably, with another mommy – face to face. Talking to the television while watching Judge Judy does NOT count. I needed a coffee break, a trip to the mall, or a play date that did not involve children! Husbands do not count either. At least not mine, who would rather spend time reminding me that he wants an HDTV for Christmas and begging me for an XBOX….
I might as well just talk to my kids.
I figured the next best thing was taking a trip to the grocery store, alone. If I can’t spend time with a friend then I’ll just spend a little time with myself, the next best thing. The kids were still with my in laws and hubby was now taking a nap. It was getting close to the time the girls would normally be brought home and not wanting them to show up and interrupt their daddy’s nap (as that would surely create an attitude monster), I called and arranged for them to come home as soon as I returned.
“I’ll only be a hour or so… 20 minutes there, 20 minutes back… I just need to run in and get a few things.”
I could sense concern over the phone line so I assured my father in law that I was NOT going to Wal-Mart. That store is a black hole for sucking up my time and my money. He would have made me come get the girls first.
“I’m just running up to Food Lion Daddy… I’ll be right back.”
Those are some famous last words aren’t they: I’ll be right back. As soon as you say them God starts laughing and begins to put slow drivers in front of you, makes sure the train is crossing right when you get there, creates a line at the bank, and only one person working the kitchen at Pizza Hut. Anything to slow you down. I was hoping God had bigger fish to fry on a Saturday afternoon.
It was a great drive to the store. I blared my radio, with the windows down, enjoying the rhythms of “Fergie“. I don’t buy cd’s very often. My husband bought me this one about a month ago, and this was the third time I’ve listened to it. I had to take out the “VeggieTales” Christmas CD first.
I pulled into the parking lot, locked the car, grabbed a cart and THAT is when my fun afternoon ended. I was about three steps into the produce section when my internal organs began to inform me I should have gone the little girls room before I left. I ignored them. Well, I tried to ignore them until aisle 3 when I about doubled over and conceded. In an effort to keep to my schedule I attempted to grab groceries along the way to the restroom. Groceries I got, the rest room I did not. Someone…an adult… stopped me to chat.
Well, that’s what I asked for right?
By the time the conversation ended my body had given up. I went back to aisle 3 to start over, quickly, as I had about ten minutes to make up for.
She found me again, the same lady, now in aisle 6. I haven’t seen this woman in over a year! Now, we are not family, we are not good friends, we just happen to live in the same town. I might have enjoyed the grocery store chat session but I had promised my father in law that I would be right back! She was shopping with her sister and nephew and it was becoming apparent that her sister was annoyed with the constant chattering. Many thanks to that sister for a nasty glare that allowed me to once again able to return to my shopping sprint.
Moving fast enough to unknowingly run over small children with my cart, I bypassed the entire cereal aisle and headed for frozen food. I totally forgot what I wanted to buy from the aisles in between. Who cared at that point if I had laundry detergent or not? I didn’t. I had to get right back.
I kept thinking: I’ll just grab two frozen pizzas (not Tostino’s or Jena’s) and some milk. 45 secs tops…. but there SHE was, again. Standing between me and the check out line.
While I tried to visualize an escape route I heard a voice behind me say, “How are the girls?” Oh please oh please let them be talking to someone else!!
Nope, it was for me! I put on my best smile and turned and replied “They’re great thanks!” This conversation continued through the checkout lane. This nice lady didn’t actually get in line… she just stood beside me while I was in line.
This quick trip to the store took an hour or more, not counting the 40 minutes there and back! So, I’ve decided to make me a new T-shirt that reads: