Not Just another Toilet Seat…

If there was any issue that would compel me to keep my opinions to myself, I would not have expected it to be my toilet seat. I can never let my husband know that I don’t like our new one. Let me share a quick and dirty (no pun intended) background about this controversial topic in my house.

When my husband purchased this house for me I was eight months pregnant. As he drove us home from the closing, I clutched the papers tight to me as if I was afraid someone would reach in the car window and steal them. That was a Wednesday night, and by Saturday morning, my sweetheart was taking me to Lowes to purchase a new toilet seat. It was the one thing I could not live with any longer. I felt certain the seat was not intentionally a harvest gold color. It was probably as old as the house and the plastic had just turned colors with age but I was NOT sitting on it any more!

Hubby bit off more than he could chew when he INSISTED that the hinges be brass because they last “forever” and “don’t rust”. The only seats like that were oak seats, which in turn meant I was going to get new holders and towel racks all in oak. It had to match right? Right.

Before we move ahead let me interrupt to share with you that I have NEVER liked this seat. It was cheap, and I never felt comfortable that it was clean. Not to mention, the “seams” in the seat shifted and if I sat on it the wrong way it would scratch my leg. Ok, let’s move into last week…

See that sweetheart in the photo helping Daddy with the new potty seat? That’s JoJo. She is the reason Mommy has a new potty seat at all. Jo managed, somehow, to break those wonderful brass hinges. Yep, the “brass” hinges that had long turned green finally gave out under the force of a potty training child slamming the lid down with relentless force over and over and over again. I immediately called my sweetheart, while on his long commute home, and asked him to run into WalMart and get us a new one….

“A padded one! No more wood!”

He grumbled, purchased the seat, and came home. I took some time later that night to share with him why I wanted a padded seat, not that he was listening.

“Rich people have padded seats honey… I wanna feel rich”

Now I realize this is total bologna! In 32 years I have only know one person that had a padded toilet seat and that was my step grandparents (ummm..yeah, they had money). So I always thought that padded toilet seats were expensive, and fancy. Now, we’re far from rich, but I had seen some in Walmart for the same price as the hard plastic ones and I wanted a padded seat. No harm in that.

When Jo finally broke the hinges on the seat (not just the lid), my sweety finally got a round to changing out the seats. That’s him in the picture trying desperately to get the RUSTED screws out of the hinges. (I’m really trying not to laugh at him…really I am.) Jo sat on the floor for an hour sitting in the toilet seat upside down making it bounce.

My husband nor myself had ever actually owned our own padded seat, and to be honest, we couldn’t wait to try it out. Our girls beat us to it though. Jo, of course, went first, and second. I wasn’t sure we were going to get her out of the bathroom! Then Sam ran in. She liked it, mainly because it wasn’t cold. Then it was mom’s turn…

Please don’t tell my husband what I’m about to write. I’d never live it down.

I hate this seat. It’s comfy and all, and warmer than the regular hard plastic ones, and it’s easier for me to tell when it’s dirty. But…

I don’t need a toilet seat that is going to remind me how fat my #($ is every time I go! You turn around to flush and the dern thing is so squooshed it can’t even begin to reinflate! I gave up waiting..it was too embarrassing.

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