I’m not the only mom totally over this behavior…. Slacker-mom-r-us is sick of it too, and there are alot of us taking a stand… See my new badge 🙂
We (my mom and I ) used to laugh at how my hubby and I were so spoiled growing up. He had things, lots and lots of things, what he wanted when he wanted. I had love, lots and lots of love and hugs and support and play time, and creative time, and space, and special treats like getting to hang out with the adults and getting to stay up late and play cards and well…. quality time. We couldn’t afford stuff.
It’s not funny any more. Our kids are spoiled with stuff. I spoil them with my love and attention. I try to explain the world to them (‘mommy said no because blah blah blah….). What? That comment should have stopped with NO!… They don’t need an explanation. He spoils them with stuff… and our parents have spoiled them with stuff… and love… and attention… and UGH! Enough all ready. To quote Dr. Phil…”the tail is wagging the dog here!”
Generally my kids are pretty good. They use manners in public (most of the time, kids get tired though ya know?) Their teachers love them. Other moms love them.
Other moms don’t see them here, with me, alone. They don’t hear the pathetic remarks I get when I ask them to clean their room. They haven’t spent hundred’s of dollars installing shower doors to ‘help THEM keep the bathroom floor from getting wet’ only to have the floor be flooded night after night.
Somehow with all the love and stuff and attention and explanations they have grown up with NO appreciation for their stuff, no boundaries, and unfortunately no real consequences. Someone always caves, or at least gives in when it looks like they are trying….
Yesterday we had a little issue cleaning their room again. My mom had the terrible luck of calling while I was taking a ‘mommy time out’ to gather myself before I started packing up all their stuff. She wanted to help. She talked to the girls on the phone and told them that she was setting her timer and if their toys weren’t off the floor before it went off then she was going to have me take two of their favorite toys and bring them to her house…where she would give them to my sister’s new baby.
You would have thought this would have been some sort of motivation. They almost always listen to Nana… but NO…
That timer was reset five times while my mom desperately tried to give them the benefit of the doubt for at least trying to pick some things up. Then she heard the screaming. I was tired of waiting and went in there with the broom and a trash bag… oh yeah, I picked up the two toys and put them in my trunk.
There was a LOT of screaming at me, and I think I was hit a few times, pinched once, and my mom heard it all. It broke her heart, but she stood firm. When it was all done and the room was clean she called and asked what they needed to do to get their toys back… So I made a deal with them, and it took them all day to earn them back. Their room was clean again before they went to bed, without being asked. My oldest has been chasing the youngest around all evening picking up after her to make sure they don’t get in trouble again.
Today, they will be on the chopping block again. I’ve had enough. Today I want to set some new rules, set some solid consequences and start teaching them that I am NOT at their beck and call…. sometimes you have to play by yourself, and sometimes you have to wait. Watching two episodes of “SuperNanny” last night definitely helped in the motivation department.