Oddly enough, I had planned on being puked on. I had planned on being peed on. I was even fully aware that at some point on one precious day the words “You’re not my friend” would come screaming out of my little ones mouth….
You see, I tried to plan for it all. I was 16 when my youngest brother was born so I saw a LOT while I was old enough to remember and take notes. I really didn’t think much could shock me…. then I had children of my own.
Let me just say that the only time they get the better of me is when they employ the ole “shock and awe” routine!
For example: I was NOT prepared for having a three year old GIRL get mad at me about cleaning her room, turn around, drop “trou” and talk to me with her cheeks saying (and I am truly quoting here!)
“My butt says your tewwibble!”
Well baby girl, you got momma there…. not much I can say to that. I am NOT prepared to make split decisions when my choices are -pop your head off- or -wet my pants laughing-….. hmmmm….
So to all my friends who are pregnant with their first child, and to my sis who just had her first… just remember… if you just sit down and think of the most ridiculously shocking thing your child could ever ever (but would never ever) do… and resign yourself to the fact that at some point they WILL do it… you just might survive.
I’m off to feed the lizard (caught this past Saturday), the rats (miraculously still alive), the cat (that would love a loving home), and the
pigs kids….*hugs to all the wonderful moms out there!*