A little honesty, from a smoker…

Unlit filtered cigarettesImage via Wikipedia

It has been almost two years now.  Third try was the charm.  I still want one.  Do NOT ever call me a non smoker.  That only makes me want one more.  I am a smoker, I will always BE a smoker.  I make a choice, every morning.  I tell myself that even though I have a 100 reasons to want one, and a 100 reasons NOT to want one, for today it is still not worth my effort, my time, or my money to go buy cigarettes.  So I don’t.  Don’t congratulate me on quitting.  I haven’t quit anything.  I’m just too lazy to have one. 

Laying in the bed this morning, trying to soothe Bubbagirl back to sleep, I began coughing- AGAIN.  The kind of cough that sounds like you inhaled gravel.  I hate it.  Because you can’t stop.  But I feel blessed. 

See I used to do this every morning. 

Today, I am coughing because I’m in those nasty annoying final days of a head/chest cold.  Today I am one day closer to the cough going away. 

For today I have one more ‘reason not to’ to put on my list. 

Every reason NOT to, every day that I goes by and I’m still to lazy and unwilling to go to the store is a good day. 

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