Even I am a child…

God Lessons
Image by Avagirl_Taderdoodles via Flickr

Yesterday was a bad day that just seemed to get worse.  I’ll leave out the minor details but in the end I actually told my mom that I wouldn’t even pray for God’s help because He was to Holy to have a miserable whining defeated person like me and my attitude come before Him.  I had no desire to waste His time as I had no energy, desire, or motivation to DO anything to make it better and if I asked Him to make it better, He would and then I’d have to DO something.  (it made sense to me at the time)
I just wanted to lay there on my bed and cry, and I did. David even surprised me by coming home early  and after he laid on the bed next to me making me laugh and whining about how tired and sore he was he got up and came downstairs to fix supper.  I could hear the girls fighting and Bubbagirl crying and him banging pots and pans around (he fixed a boxed chinese food dinner) and yet he never came asking for help and I never heard him yell at them (which by itself is odd to say the least).   I even snuck in a shower, almost all by myself (the big girls did come up twice, behind his back, for referree-ing)
After some apologies, to God, I prayed last night that even if He could not give me sleep, as in lots of hours of it, would He please make what little sleep I could get be refreshing…  and that’s the word I used… REFRESHING… I’ll take one hour over eight if the ONE hour makes me feel better.  Nothing sucks like getting 8 hours of crappy sleep.  I guess to test me He made sure Doodlebug and Taderbug had me get up at least 5 times (it was getting close to 11pm) for medicine, water, lights, ‘i cant sleep’, blah blah blah…. And I woke up at least twice to pee, and then again with my Bubbagirl.
At 6 am I woke up out of nowhere.  I tried to lay back down, but Doodlebug called out for me, and by the time I made it in her room she was back to sleep…  I got the signal loud and clear that He wanted me to get up. So I did. Coffee is made, kitchen is cleaned up from Mr. B’s cooking last night and while I am still stuffy, and I won’t be singing out loud in the car, I do feel REFRESHED.  I feel I can drive without swerving, and I can speak to my kids with a nicer tone in my voice.
I behaved like a child yesterday toward God and yet He still let me crawl up into His mighty lap and find rest.
***This morning’s Daily Focus From AOP (an email I receive daily) was more evidence of God’s provision and offered some insight into hubby’s early arrival yesterday…  you can read it here.***

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