Protecting the front door, while the wolf sneaks in the back.

I avoid my soapbox.  You might get lucky and get me wrapped into a serious conversation but normally you will see me quickly back away and let the drama mamas have at it.  I respect your opinions and your beliefs, I expect that respect in return, so when the mud starts flying I leave.
I’m not trying to throw mud here.  I’m hoping someone will help me understand what I’m seeing.  This topic has nearly cost me my very best friend.  It has caused many rolled eyes from members of our family who thought we were being silly.  This is NOT a joke though, and treating it like one can have devastating effects.
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My mother in law stalks my door, getting up every few seconds to see where my kids are when they are simply playing in their front yard.  My aunt is scared to let her 7 year old daughter walk two blocks down the street to play on the play ground.  I see moms shadow their kids on the play ground barely registering the conversation they are having because they are gripped by the fear that ‘someone’ might snag their son or daughter during that two seconds that they are out of sight.
I understand. Really I do.  Because it DOES happen that fast.
I don’t hover like that, but I understand where the fear and concern comes from.  I keep them close in crowds or strange neighborhoods, but after a year I am comfortable enough to let my girls play in the yard without my constant supervision.
Stay with me, for my issue is not with these moms and dads.  There have always been weirdos stalking out the playgrounds and kids have been being abducted since the beginning of time.  But the crimes seems more horrific, the speed of media making them seems more often, and if it’s something one can prevent then by all means… do so.
What I don’t understand, is how we can work so hard, devote so much time to watch them every moment and yet do things that allow the wolf to sneak in from behind.
I recently saw the video of the little girls dancing in the dance competition to “Single Ladies”.  I will not repost the link as I feel that strongly that then entire routine was that inappropriate.  Please don’t feed into it by searching it out.  It was a small group of girls, the oldest being 8 years old, dressed in costumes resembling black and red lingerie, pumping and grinding like Beyonce’ in a dance show.
I’ve also had the pleasure of watching my best friends daughter, in her cutie patootie Junior Cheerleader uniform, practicing for the big game.  I wondered where the cheering was, as it seemed to be replaced with butt shaking and gyrations instead of pom pom shaking and high kicks.
Walking through the department store to find my children, all girls so far, find bathing suits, I was finding it difficult to find suits that didn’t look like adult suits (adult suits I am even too modest to wear).
I ‘get’ that it’s cute to see them get all dressed up and pretend to be grown up.  Inside our house, our almost 2 year old loves to dance to the beats of Beyonce’ and Fergie.  Being the one to take the girls to the restroom when we’re at the pool and the lake, I know better then my husband does on the convenience of a two piece suit, especially when it’s wet and rolled up at the knees of a 4 year old that would probably be just as content to go swimming nekkid.
What I don’t ‘get’ is the parents who forget that they are not the only ones seeing their children; and while YOU know it’s all being done in fun and YOU know they are just being cute/funny/silly, the pervert in the crowd KNOWS what it is they are copying.  He is watching, and slowly you are not only feeding the wolf but letting him right in.  As these children get older, and become more independent in choosing their outfits and their behaviors, they will have no reason to think that prancing around half dressed in front of the world might bring them harm.
How do you tell those little girls in the video that being a stripper is not okay?   ( I have a feeling that if you asked their moms and dads if stripping would be okay that they would all say NO)  What is different about dancing in undies while shaking your money maker at 7  versus doing it at 22?  “But mo-om,  it was okay 10 years ago!”
(I am NOT in any way saying that a victim ever asks for it…  do NOT read that here.   But bad things do happen when you act stupid…  you may not deserve it, and you did not ask for it….  but I fully accept that crap happens when you go where you ain’t got no business being doing things you know you shouldn’t be doing)
**My molester, and the molesters of the friends I knew in school were not strangers.  They we’re family, close friends, or other friends dad’s….  people who where there at the family pool party….  sitting at the picnic table watching us play.  Do not forget that in every crowd there is probably at least ONE person looking at your kid in a inappropriate way**
I don’t see where leaving their bodies exposed, and allowing their behaviors to emulate VERY adult behavior, is in any way being as protective to them as shadowing them at the park.  The bad guy may not be able to get their physical hands on them, but why would you feed their imaginations.
Kids are cute when they look like kids and act like kids.  My daughters are precious in their two piece, tank top style, fully covered bathing suits.  They dance like and 8 year old and a 5 year old.   If they ever took a dance class or a cheer class that had them looking more like strippers in a bar than little cheerleaders or little ballerinas? Well, momma would not be happy, and my girls would NOT participate anymore.
**If you’ve never searched your area, please take a moment to do so…  **
United States Department of Justice National Sex Offender Public Website.
You can also google your local State Police website as most states have a local offender search available.

8 thoughts on “Protecting the front door, while the wolf sneaks in the back.

  1. Peggy Brister says:

    There are 75 registered sex offenders listed in the city of Vicksburg that I live in, with a total town population of 25,000 ppl. Imagine all the sex offenders that live here that haven’t been caught or that aren’t registered. It’s sickening & frightening.
    I think the moms who let their daughters dance that nasty kind of dance in that competition should be ashamed of themselves. Imagine all the pedophiles who have watched that You Tube video getting sexually aroused watching those little girls girate and hump the air, rolling thier little hips like they are having sex. It’s pitiful.

  2. TaderDoodles says:

    I was watching our Homecoming Parade a few years back and I was saddened by the junior cheerleaders and the bigger cheerleaders performances….  even made hubby uncomfy.  The scary part was looking across the street and seeing a KNOWN pedifile in the crowd.  His grin was nauseating… 

  3. Erin D says:

    You and I are on the same page for this stuff, I think…I have two friends with whom I meet every week and we all take our kids swimming at the local pool. They both have their children in bikinis (a STRING bikini, in one 10 year old’s case) and they think I am really prudish because I will not allow my 9 year old daughter to wear one too. These are all very pretty girls and I can’t understand why anyone would want their child to attract that particular kind of attention!

  4. Rhoni says:

    And again – I’m so thankful we have boys although now I find the challenge in teaching them to respect & uplift girls…soon to be women…that don’t respect themselves and have never been taught to.

  5. Katie says:

    I agree with this so much, it nauseates me to see little girls dressed so scantily and I wonder how their parents can fail to see what they’re feeding into.

  6. Lynda says:

    Ditto, Last year I discontinued our Clogging (!) class because some of the routines included innapropriate choreography. My daughter will be 14 soon and I have been talking with her about modesty. It is preferable to have a husband who was not inatially attracted to our exposure (purity). And it protects us from the pervs (do not be a stumbling block). And it glorifies our Father in Heaven (whom we represent).
    Also, it is important to teach our children to be aware of their surroundings (knowledge), no wandering beyond safe boundaries (obediance), and report any observances that would put someone in danger (yes, we are our brother’s keeper).
    Every parent is held accountable for the guidance they provide their little charges. They are leading by example, whether they like it or not. I suggest every parent read the owner’s manuel, and keep in close fellowship with the Creator. In Christ there is Freedom. Nobody ever said parenting is easy, at least not a parent.
    (Not one word of this comment is ment to offend, but to build up and encourage the Body of Christ. In the name of our Lord and Savior, Amen)
    God Bless you today Lisa, you are in my prayers!

  7. Melissa says:

    All I can say is that if you lost friends over your feelings on this… I feel bad for their kids. I am with you 100% my 8yo DD tells me she want to be skinnier all the time the kids weighs a whopping 57lbs and has legs a mile long! its the media, they feed into it and its hard to fin clothes that are appropriate in my opinion for a girl her age. and she HATES jeans! So her skirts & dresses must come below kness and have not just shorts but the legging type that cover the thigh. they have no idea what MTV is because I have it blocked on my TV. People say I am too picky about her clothes, but my girl loves skirts and monkey bars! Her swim suit is a bikini but its the tank-ini kind because if i get her the 1 piece it comes down too low on her chest and up too high on her hips!
    I know all too well the sickos that are out there and i am thankful that more times than I can count in a day the local officers drive past my house on their routine patrol and the park here is small and fenced so I can sit by the gate and my kids can play I never loose sight of them and no one gets in or out of the park without me noticing.

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