I am again amazed and left teary over how God can take a perfectly boring moment and turn it into something overwhelmingly beautiful.
Taderbug and I were in my car, returning from a rather dull trip to the grocery store. After an eventful weekend, I was exhausted and cranky. My knees hurt for inexplicable reasons and I knew I was returning to a still very trashed home. I was very pouty. Taderbug was not. Despite her injury she was quite chipper, as long as I stayed nearby.
I heard her make some comment about waving to a little girl. I’ll admit I was only half listening. Then she said something again, so I looked up and to my left at the little girl in the truck next to us. Her blonde head was laying against the window. Her face looked sad and tired. She may have just been bored, I couldn’t be sure. Then she picked up her head and smiled at me. I smiled back and looked to my right to see my Taderbug (yes, I had her in the front seat…shoot me.) smiling and waving at the girl. We ended up switching lanes and the girl and her father (I’m assuming that was her dad) were soon on our right. The girl now twisting and turning in her seat to smile and wave at my Tader. Then I saw the man smile. Then it was our turn and they drove away.
Tader went on and on about her new friend. That is when I heard the voice in my head. The voice that explained what just happened and put it upon my heart to tell my daughter immediately.
“Tader” I said. “Did you know that God just used you? That you were just His Little Light? That you just shared God with that little girl?”
Her face lit up. She was so excited to think that God’s love had been shared by her without her even ‘doing it on purpose’. How just by being nice, and having love in her heart and spreading it that she was sharing God with others…. since God is Love. Her little light, sitting my car, shone so bright that day that the little girl couldn’t help but take notice. Like a hot flame it spread from my Tader, to the girl, to me, back to the girl, and to her dad.
As I laid in bed that night, holding my little Peanut with Tader curled up behind me, I thought of all the times I set out in a fabulous mood only to have a random person snuff out my light. Maybe they said something snarky. Maybe they just gave a nasty look or I overheard them saying something negative to another person. Either way, they snuffed my light, burst my bubble, rained on my parade without even knowing it. Then I thought of how often I must be snuffing out candles.
How many times does my snarky comment about someone or something trigger “yea me too” snarky comments from my friends. While I feel validated and like a big group hug is going on, I know in my heart I am just spreading around negativity like it was the swine flu. Any negativity in my heart is taking up valuable space that COULD be filled with Love.
Yesterday, I decided to do my best to be a light. To be like my Taderbug.
It was SO UNBELIEVABLY HARD. I guess I’m very used to whipping off a remark or two to vent or just be funny. I tried to stop and think before I tweeted. I had to bite my tongue when my husband came home and was unable to take over for a bit so I could have a break. I had to focus on my words and my expressions and NOT give in to saying what would make me feel better for the moment.
If I’m being whiny, fussy, cranky, judgmental, snarky, rough, rude, ‘too busy’, and inconsiderate of others than I am NOT being a light in this world. My job is not to be a super mom, or a great blogger, or a hot wife, an avid reader, a frugal shopper…. my JOB is to be a Light to the world. The rest comes along on its own.