This is not my original blog. This isn’t even my second or third blog. I’ve had Too Busy 2 Clean, I’m not crazy I’m homeschooling, Valley Walkers, Turtle Doodling, and a variety of bizarre random posts on mommy social sites. I keep going off on tangents, posting certain topics for a week or so thinking that is what my readers want to read. It is like my blog has multiple personalities.
I finally decided last year to stop with all the posting here and there and consolidate everything here. The posts are still pretty random in topic but my wonderful readers have hung around to see what comes out of the chaos next. I became disenchanted with blogging shortly after the New Year because I realized I was “pumping” out posts rather than writing to my readers. I had lost my blogs main purpose!
I want to share ideas with my readers. I want to share reviews with my readers. I will always want to make things to give to my readers! The purpose, however, of my blog….deeeeep down…is to give me GROWN children (in the future ya’ll) a peek inside my head- in real time.
I talk to my family ‘elders’ now and listen to them retell stories of what it was like when they had little kids. It all seems filtered. If I’m having a bad day then they tell me a fluffy version of their bad day and quickly end with a “but it all turned out okay”. That’s all fine and dandy dearies but what I need as a mom is to know that there were days where Nana burnt the chicken because she was cleaning up a puking baby while my mom and aunt jumped on her sofa.
Ok, well THAT probably never happened but you know what I mean.
I have three girls. One day they may be moms. One day I want them to be able to read my blog (or a printed version of it) and see what mom used, what she liked, what worked , what didn’t. I want them to know that it was hard and I cried and it was good and I laughed.
Twenty years from now I will be past the urgency, the exhaustion, the drama, the fears, and the anxiety that accompanies being the mom of little ones. Twenty years from now I will retell the stories with the confidence of a mom who knows it gets easier and better. I want my girls to know how I felt BEFORE I knew it would all be okay.
I want my son to have a deeper understanding of where his wife is coming from. I want him to see that she is going to be so very very frustrated with him and yet love him with the deepest of loves.
And when I start getting all “this isn’t that hard just do it this way” on them….they can hand me my blog.
For my kids so they will see what it was really like inside my head. rather than the fluffy happen versions of my life i’ll be exaggerating when I’m old.
Blogging from my Android….probably from the bathroom.