Why are we all so insecure? (Guest Blogger)

When Lisa put out a call for guest posters I wanted to help but I struggled with what I could offer her readers. My youngest child is 7 and we’re (happily) through with that whole contributing to the gene pool thing. I don’t home school. I’m not a SAHM. I am NOT at ALL crafty. I stand in awe of Lisa and all the other women who pull off this full time mommy job — well — full time. Like REALLY full time.
But I just recently started a study of Beth Moore’s “So Long Insecurity” with some women in my church. You know a study is going to be good when you’re sobbing just a few pages into the first chapter.
“Good”? It’s completely subjective.
Moore uses a definition of insecurity taken from “The Tender Heart: Conquering Your Insecurity” by Joseph Nowinski.
Insecurity refers to a profound sense of self-doubt – a feeling of uncertainty about our basic worth and our place in the world. Insecurity is associate with chronic self – consciousness, along with a chronic lack of confidence in ourselves and anxiety about our relationships. The insecure man or woman lives in constant fear of rejection and a deep uncertainty about whether his or her own feelings and desires are legitimate.
Highlights are mine. Because yes. Yes. And oh dear lord yes.
Oh. My. Goodness. I probably could have highlighted the “constant fear of rejection” too. I have this fear that I will drive someone away. That they’ll have this realization that they screwed up by befriending/loving me. That they’ll, well, yeah, reject me. But I wouldn’t say it’s constant. Not even close. Still – it whispers sibilantly through the back of my mind more often than I like. Which is to say any at all.
What have I learned from the study so far? One – I’m insecure. Oh wait…I already knew that. No – what has really jumped out at me is the fact that I’m not the only one. Moore says that this is a universal struggle though with different areas and intensities. If you meet (or are) a woman who does NOT fight this particular battle, then it’s because you have put a lot of effort into it. I tend to believe her. Primarily because it makes me feel better. In fact – I was absolutely shocked by one of the woman who strolled into our first group session. She’s young, cute, outgoing and bubbly. She seems to have it all together. And yet she was in tears because she was tired and frustrated. Tired of doubting herself, of disliking herself. Frustrated with the fears and anxiety and the bonds she felt in her life.
I’m not alone. And guess what? Neither are you. It will interesting to see what this study yields.
Rhoni is God fearing wife and mother of 3 boys who manages to work full time, mom full time, wife full time and co-lead a lifegroup at her church. She blogs at Not Living In Vain and is active on twitter as @Rhoni_renee. She is also a great player on Word With Friends and unlike me she doesn’t take 20 hours to spell a word.

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