My Top 5 Rants

mindbump suggested by Tattletale
“The top 5 things to rant about and end up with a blog post :)”


1. My kids. Usually when they are exhibiting behavior I myself do and should stop doing.  Like copping an attitude.
2. My in laws. Because I didn’t grow up with them so I don’t feel the need to “understand where they are coming from” like I do with my own parents.
3. My house. Because unlike my friends houses mine refuses to clean itself.  What the heck? I’m nice enough. I keep it warm and dry (mostly). The least it could do is the dishes. Geeeesh.
4. Companies. Actually, I usually tweet this. Comcast doesn’t exactly read my blog. Neither does RIM. So blogging about my internet failing or my blackberry being a glorified paperweight does me no good.  But I will tweet the heck out of it! (well, when the internet comes back up and my phone is working)
5. Finances. Do I really need to explain this one?

Five seconds

Two Christmases ago, my sweet little brother and his future wifey purchased some animals from a “Build-A-Bear” type establishment.  They were cute. They had cute outfits. They had cute backpacks to keep them in. They even had cute recorded voice boxes that said “Merry Christmas *insert kids name*, From Uncle S and Aunt R”.
It took my children less than one week to remove the little voice box gizmo, flip the switch from “Play” to “Record” and overwrite the sweet Christmas message.  They know have about 5 seconds worth of gibberish recorded on them.
I wondered who decided that 5 seconds was the right amount of time for a message.   It took my brother and lil wifey forever to get those three messages recorded in those precious 5 seconds.
I have recently determined that they were geniuses.  Apparently they knew that 5 seconds is the exact about of time children can HEAR what is being said before their ears turn off!
I have my children’s undivided attention for 5 seconds.  Speak fast, speak clearly, look them in the eyes.  You have 5 seconds mom… make it count.

Breaking in a new midwife

Nothing like switching midwife’s 4 days before your due date.  I was blessed that hubby’s boss let him take an early and long lunch to be here at the house when she arrived.  Here are some tidbits from our first visit….  where hubby lets the midwife know exactly what she’s dealing with when she takes on THIS family.
Midwife to me:  How tall are you?
Hubby: SHORT
Midwife cracks up.
**************
Midwife to me: Weight?
Hubby: Oh lemme get the scale for her! She’s scared, won’t get on, hold on, it’s right here, come on honey don’t be afraid…
Midwife waits to see if he gets hit… then laughs.
***************
Midwife to me: So ya’ll are legally married right?
Hubby: Yep, can’t seem to get out of it.
***************
Midwife to me: How often do you drink?
Hubby: only four times…
*slight pause while she makes the connection that this is my FOURTH pregnancy*
Midwife cracks up laughing.
**************
Midwife to me: Any fertility issues?
Hubby: Doesn’t look like it huh?
**************
Midwife to me: With your other pregnancies did they have to use anything like forceps or vacumm?
(I tried to answer first…BUT)
Hubby: Yep, they used the vacuum cleaner on Doodlebug and the Salad Tongs on Taderbug, but Bubbagirl just fell out.
I thought she was gonna wet her pants.
***************
God, I sooo love that man!

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Kindergarten Color Lesson (aka Let's Embarass Mommy)

Today I really need my Kindy Girl to do some independent work.  I handed her my camera and sent her off to take pictures of certain colors in the house.  I may have to make sure the house is CLEAN before I let her do it again.

Fuzzy or not, we covered Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Purple, White and Black.  Seems she thinks Pink is the same as Red.

For the enjoyment of my twitter friends I’m posting a slideshow of her results:

Probably…Maybe…Most Likely…

DictionariesImage by jovike via Flickr

Because we’re walking dictionaries…

Doodlebug: “Moooooooom!  What does PROBABLY mean?” (spoken as probly)

Daddy: “Probably?…It means Maybe, or Most Likely…”

Doodlebug, cutting him off: “Mooooom!  What does Maybe and Most Likely mean?”

Daddy growls under his breath (with a big grin on his face)

Mom: “What do YOU think it means?”

Doodlebug: “Probably”

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